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  Sometimes it really amazes me how nervy strangers can be at times. Here's the story that got me all fired up...We were on vacation last week and my daughter was playing on the beach. She went over to a little girl around her age and started picking up some of her toys. After telling her to stop, the little girl's mother invited my daughter to go over and play. Since my daughter is so friendly, (she can become BFF's with a rock, I think she definitely gets that from her father) we walked over.
  At first, all was well. The little girls were playing in the sand. I was sharing some mindless conversation with this other mom. I can't even tell you what we were talking about. That's how unimportant it was. But,then it started. The girls got up to get some more water for their pails. The other little girl had her water shoes on as she walked to the water. My daughter did not. So, the other mom asked me if we had water shoes. I answered yes, but my little one doesn't really like shoes, so she took them off. I got an "oh" and some silence. I really didn't think anything of it. But then when the girl got up the second time, the mom said to me "oh, I really wish she had her shoes on." She was referring to my little one. Strike One. I told her she was fine, if she had a problem, she would be screaming. She made it seem like we were walking on hot coals to hell. It was just a few rocks, toughen up lady.
  I was getting a little annoyed, but decided to stick around because the girls were having fun. Then this uncensored Momma asked me how many words my daughter says. I simply answered "a few." Then she asked me if "we do" daycare. I answered that I am fortunate enough to have my mom and mother-in-law babysit while I work, so I don't have to pay for daycare. Then she told me that once she sent her daughter to daycare, her vocabulary grew so much because grandma wasn't "doting on her." Strike Two. By this time I wanted to throw her in the ocean. Who the heck are you lady? You're asking me so many questions and I've only known you for five minutes and hopefully we will never see each other again. During this whole time, I've kept the conversation light and impersonal, while she's giving me advice and putting her two cents in...heck...she's putting in a whole dime.
  I stood there and looked away as she got down on the sand to help her daughter build a "water wall". My daughter must have sensed my frustration because she started to take her plastic shovel and scoop the wall away. The lady kept trying to build it back up. My daughter kept pushing it down. Build...push..build...push. This was getting fun. Normally I would have told her to stop. But, I just didn't feel like it. Then the mother of the year said ,"oh let's not push down the wall honey." Strike Three. You're out and we're outta here. I mustered every nice bone left in my body and told my daughter Daddy was calling her and he wanted to go check out the pool. All I had to say was Daddy, and she dropped the shovel and we were out. Although I wanted to kick sand in this lady's face, I simply said bye and see you later. Peace Out.
  Maybe it's just me, but I'm not so open with my thoughts and opinions with complete strangers when it comes to parenting advice. If some of those words were coming from a trusted friend or relative, I may have listened. I would still have complained, but I would have listened. I just couldn't believe how high and mighty this lady thought she and her kid were. Mind you, her daughter wasn't reciting the encyclopedia while playing in the sand or quoting Shakespeare. I wanted to ask her where all those extensive vocabulary words were hiding. In the sand? In her water shoes?
  Although I walked away annoyed, there was a lesson learned. Next time I encounter someone like this on the beach I need to go grab the water shoes and throw one at the mom-zilla!

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Comment by IrishVix3n on November 1, 2011 at 3:09am
Very well put Mrs. Moody! I as well have experienced the daycare comments from professionals and become annoyed because I can not afford it when my oldest son was delayed. However we found out it would not have helped him because it was a medical reason why he had a speech impairment, not because he was not around other children. We fixed the problem (enlarged tonsils) and he speaks as if he never had a problem without going to daycare.
Comment by IrishVix3n on August 2, 2011 at 12:54pm

@ Mrs. Jennifer Johnson,...my name is Erica Blaine, Huber is my maiden name I live in  North Carolina temporarily with my mother due to our house being hit by a tornado and is now condemned.  I use my nickname because it is how my friends know me and can find me easier. As for courage goes, you do not know how much courage i may have or not have. You do not know me or have been a mile in my shoes. And how do you know if I take responsibility for my actions? I reiterate the last statement, "You do not know me or have been a mile in my shoes."

 

 Aye you and everyone else in this country is entitled to their opinion, just as everyone is entitled to their reaction to other's opinion. So I suppose this makes me an ass as well then. "I wish she had water shoes on" was something the mother could have and should have kept to herself. It is belittling the child's mother (Mrs. Kristina Cappetta in this case), to me it is stating the mother is in competent on raising her own child. Basically reading between the lines the other mother expected Mrs. Kristina Cappetta to put her daughter's water shoes on and did not think Mrs. Kristina Cappetta was not smart enough to think for herself or her daughter's safety. From experience that statement is how I speak to my husband about our boys and playing outside. If I think he should have them do something to protect them I tell him I wish,...and leave it at that in hopes he would think hey she has a point. Not saying Mrs. Kristina Cappetta was in the wrong for she knows her daughter better than anyone else does. 


I could be very well wrong about the 50s. I was going based off from what my grandmother had told me when she raised my mother. There were some neighbors that helped as you had explained but there were some that did not for my grandmother did not socialize with them. Just as Mrs. Kristina Cappetta mentioned, she was a stranger therefore she did not have that right to parent over Mrs. Kristina Cappetta's daughter. And I do agree partially about the children's problem today is the parents are trying to be their friends, however it also has to do with parents not disciplining their children because they do not have time to keep track what they are doing or do not care to, among other reasons. 

Comment by Jennifer Johnson on August 2, 2011 at 8:37am

Ms. IrishVix3n, you don't even have enough courage to use your name on this forum. How about standing behind what you say and taking responsibility for your actions?

You're likening me to lunatic's that feel they have the right to tell people how to live their lives. As Ms. Capetta said, I am entitled to my opinion and so is the woman that is discussed in Ms. Capetta's post.  I do not feel the woman described in this post tried to force the issue in any way. If she had pulled out a pair of water shoes and tried to put them on Ms. Cappetta's daughter then that would have been completely different and way out of line.  All she said was "I wish she had water shoes on". Oh the horror!

 

You're wrong about parents in the 50's. Back then they lived under the idea that it took a village to raise a child and neighbor's didn't have a problem with correcting children that were not their own.  It's called caring for others. You can't do that today for fear of being sued! That's the problem with kids today, there aren't any parents as they are to busy trying to be their kids friends.

Comment by IrishVix3n on August 2, 2011 at 1:48am
Wow Mrs. Jennifer Johnson you sound from your words that you are in agree with the other mother. That made me think of those parents in California who think they know what is best for the entire state's children and are trying to ban circumcision. The only difference between them and this situation they are going to the government to fight instead of just giving unwanted advice to the mother. Are they overstepping their boundaries? What makes them any different from the mother Mrs. Kristina Cappetta endured? I know the other mother should go to the government as well because Mrs. Kristina Cappetta did not push her daughter to wear her water shoes or put her in daycare! Wow people like you Mrs. Jennifer Johnson sicken me! I am sorry Mrs. Kristina Cappetta you had to endure that. People these days has gotten so full of themselves and pushy. What happened to the lifestyles in the 50s when strangers did not push themselves on other people as such and how you raised your child was solely on you, not Jane, Francine, and the other some millions in this country?!
Comment by Kristina Cappetta on July 29, 2011 at 6:27am

Wow, things are heating up!

@Aurora..I wish I had that onesie for my daughter..

@Jennifer...you are entitled to your opinion, but I do think you're being a little harsh..I was just sharing an experience and my take on it...I think the only person that needs to get over herself is the woman I encountered on the beach

Comment by Shannon, Star Mom on July 28, 2011 at 8:09pm
Lol, it really saddens me that you felt the need to tell Kristina that she came off like an ass, she never said this lady was an ass... not really sure where that came from.  I guess there are just two totally different types of people in this world- those that feel it's okay to insist or question what complete strangers should do with their kids, and those that mind their own business and think it's disrespectful to question a strangers parenting skills.  I can agree to disagree, but to say she (Kristina) comes off like an ass and to get over herself is rather rude, don't ya think? 
Comment by Jennifer Johnson on July 28, 2011 at 2:35pm

It really saddens me to see all of the women agreeing with this post. The only one that came off like an ass in this encounter was the person who wrote it. It's called having a conversation lady - she didn't know you so she tried to talk about the one thing that she knew she had in common with you... let me get you a ladder so you can get over yourself.

Comment by Aurora Chedester on July 27, 2011 at 6:20pm
I saw this onesie that said "My mom doesn't want your advice" on it.  It would be great if my son could magically be wearing it whenever I am around someone like this.
Comment by Shannon, Star Mom on July 26, 2011 at 1:22pm

Well, I'm sure those that are unsure of how to parent will ask for help when needed, otherwise it's not your place, my place, anyones place, especially not a strangers place to say things which imply you are not doing your job as a parent.  I will never forget this (there are some real characters out there!)- It was approximately 40-50 degrees out and going into a store once I saw a mother/father both wearing sweaters and pants, and their 9-12 mo. child was only wearing a long sleeved shirt onesie w/ no pants, shoes, or socks sitting in a metal shopping cart.  I wanted to yank their sweaters off them and wrap up their poor son however, it was not my place to make an issue of it.  Amazingly, the little boy had the hugest smile on his face and his mom/dad acted as if this little boy was the apple of their eye, but the no pants/socks was just completely baffling to me? 

I'm sure you have good intentions, just as I said below I don't believe the lady on the beach had intentions to offend anyone, but people need to think about how they come across to others... with good intentions or not it can come across as degrading to another parent.  I never said ALL parents know whats best for their child, it's a learning experience as we ALL go along, but it's not our place to tell others how to parent their child unless asked.  For the extreme situations, that is what child protective services is for. 

Comment by Moogle on July 26, 2011 at 12:49pm
While I'm not trying to tell anyone how to raise their child, I work at a grocery store and the stuff I see on a daily basis that some parents think are completely acceptable astounds me. Some people allow their children to not only run around the store unattended. But even when the parents are watching, they let their kids destroy merchandise, abuse the siblings or other children, go into restricted areas or play w things they shouldn't like the atm or cash registers or generally be public nuisances w/o batting an eye or lifting a finger to make their child stop. I saw one mom of 3 completely ignoring her infant's screams even when he was screaming bc he had worked the seat belt up around his throat and it was choking him!! I saw another set of parents not do a thing when 1 child had picked up a long metal peg hook and proceeded to hit his younger sibling with it. Not ALL parents know/do what's best for their children. Just like not all Christians are saints. So to presume that just bc someone has conceived and given birth to a healthy child, does not automatically make them wise and all-knowing about kids and parenting.

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