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2012: Get back the ME!

I went back to the office part-time after my son was born, and I have to say, I loved it. Four hours of work/dressing like a grownup/exposure to the world with adults; the rest of the day with my son (and all the shopping, housework,etc). That was the way to go.

Now I work part-time from home, mostly while my son naps, and I like that too. But sometimes part of me feels a bit like I am missing out on adult conversation with non-parents, and the ideas, trends, and inspirations that I was clued in to at work (it was a creative environment).

And of course, before my son was born I went out a lot: to museums, concerts, stores and new restaurants. All of that has been traded in for chain restaurants (the easiest with a toddler), playgrounds, big-box stores and still more playspaces.

Here's how it all adds up: Husband + son + domestic life - personal development/interests = my new (still pretty good) life

Don't get me wrong, I love being with my son, and I feel incredibly lucky and blessed to have my family and be in my work-from-home situation. But my world is a bit insular - friends are all stay-at-home married moms, and we talk about our kids, recipes, grocery shopping and playspaces, mostly.

I think it's time to branch back out a bit. 2012 is going to be the year of getting some of myself back, getting the occasional daytime babysitter so I get some time alone to reengage in some of my own interests. So I can feel like Katie, interesting person and wife/mom, not just Katie, wife/mom.

What's your resolution?

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Comment by RockinTwins10 on January 10, 2012 at 2:26pm: I am staying home with twins! Talk about desparate for my own thoughts!! LOL Luckily, we have them on a really regimented bedtime of 7 p.m. and my husband will sit with them so I can get out one night per week to do my own thing- and no grocery shopping is NOT a break for moms!! The only time I get to do other things like clean the house, make food, check my email is when they take naps. I really thought staying home would give me more time to all the projects I had left undone and more time to keep things organized... a girl can dream! Play dates with friends help get adult time in, but its not the same b/c we are so occupied with keeping on eye on our kids...but, its still so nice just to have another person to talk to during the day!

Comment by mommadiva on January 10, 2012 at 12:24pm: I hear you, i too am a stay at home mom and I find myself feeling cooped up a bit sometimes. I love being home with my son and taking care of him but sometimes i just want to be LaTonya you know? Go for it girl. BTW what do you do from home as far as occupation goes?

Comment by Kristina Cappetta on January 10, 2012 at 10:08am: I hear ya Katie. I actually just decided to be a stay at home mom after the birth of my second daughter. I know it's going to take time to get used to the lack of "adult time." I am doing some freelance work from home too so I can keep my mind occupied. But I am also trying to squeeze in as much "me" time as possible, whether it be pilates or a lunch with a friend. Good Luck:)

Comment by mama0313 on January 3, 2012 at 11:38pm: my husband was just there in clearwater on business in december. he still works for a company out there from our home in arkansas. yes he enjoyed his short visit but was def happy to be back. said the snowbirds were crazy while there since it's "cold" weather. i have a list of things i hated about living there. i just didn't want to come off as a whiner. there was a couple nice things about clearwater though, nice radio stations, more to do if you have $, and you can find good deals on alot of things bc people haggle so much. we have friends that still live over there and the only reason they say they still stay is bc their family lives there. i haven't been happier since we left. we are in a pretty nice area and don't have bank robberies ect but the next city over does so the trash comes over here sometimes. we are a dry county though so usually no one stays here long unless they live here(minus the chilli's that has a apermit). we don't have any night life so that keeps it over in the next city. we are about to move to my husband's town in alma AR where he grew up bc the schools are even better etc. it's a even more "boring" town. it may be boring but atleast i don't have to worry about strip clubs, bars, and the like on every street corner. it's a very family type of town. if you want to know anything about clearwater just ask. you might want to look into hilton head SC if you want to be on the beach in the south. last i checked it was nice. good luck with your move!

Comment by Shannon, Star Mom on January 3, 2012 at 3:29pm: Thanks for the info Silver... it's so funny you mentioned it, b/c we were actually thinking of the Clearwater area since we know people around there. They did say there are some pretty bad areas (but we thought maybe it couldn't be much different than the fact that we have certain 'bad areas' here in Woodbridge, Va as well and being around the outskirts of DC). I almost feel like where is it really safe anymore? We live in a pretty nice area and there are break-ins, shootings, bank robberies all around us... but I definiteIy don't want to up and move to get away from all this only to be in the same situation all over again, or worse. I REALLY appreciate your feedback and I mentioned what you said to my partner. We def. have a lot of things to consider and a lot of research to do before even considering any type of move. My mom is actually in Clearwater right now getting as much info as she can about the place, I told her she had to come back w/ as much info as possilbe about the crime, safer neighborhoods, and school system... we'll see how that goes, but from what you say I'm probably not gonna get very positive feedback from her either :(

Comment by RockinTwins10 on January 3, 2012 at 3:01pm: I know the feeling... my mother always told me that moms sacrifice their needs/wants so their children will have what the need/want. But, until I became a mother myself I never understood. I love my girls, but there are times I miss who I was before parenthood. Glad to hear someone else say it! LOL Unfortunately, where I'm located being a SAHM is not very common, so its a bit isolating. I hope 2012 is a great year for us all!

Comment by mama0313 on January 2, 2012 at 10:17am: Shannon, Star Mom i know it probably depends on where you live in fl that your experience may be different but we just moved away from the tampa bay area (the suburbs in clearwater) a couple years ago. there wasn't many good jobs, alot of poverty. it def wasn't safe and wasn't the type of place i wanted to raise kids at all. so i waited til i left there befere we ttc. good for a visit, maybe, and that's about it. i'm not trying to change your mind about it just def research before you move there. it's very expensive to basically live in a cardboard box and forget about owning a car as well. these kind of "luxeries" are for the rich lol.

Comment by Shannon, Star Mom on January 2, 2012 at 9:34am: Hey Katie,

To be honest, I felt like I was finally getting myself back when my daughter hit about 4 yrs old... I don't know if it's the same for every one, but I found she he had sooo much more independence at that age and I finally felt like I could get back more into my wants and needs (of course, it was also kinda sad that my daughter needed me for the simple things less and less each day, but it's also something you take pride in too- watching your baby grow up!). Anyway, my resolution (well, our family resolution) is to move to Florida this year. Of course, this will all depend on a stable job for both of us and finding a home in a safe neighborhood... but that is our goal. We want our kids to grow up by the beach :)

Comment by mama0313 on January 2, 2012 at 12:45am: i plan to get my house ready and sell, find a nice couple acres of land and have a custom built home in the next half year. then we plan on ttc baby #2 by this summer likely. i figure that should all keep me pretty busy as a sahm. i don't feel like i have time for anything else. i just bought this house less than 2 years ago, but our needs have changed and i really want to be in a new home before we ttc. i find myself thinking less and less about myself and i guess pre nesting for baby #2 more and more. all i can think about is that baby #2 lately - it's my clock going crazy i guess.