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Hate Him, Hate Myself.
Maybe I am just a full blown idiot! I mean come on! The father of my son is just begging for me to go off on him. I recently found out that he's been smoking in the same area as my son! Not only that but he is sick with the same crap as I had and he is getting pissed because I asked him to watch my DS while I ran to the store for some supplies. He didn't let me rest even though I was sick with a fever and had a head cold for a minute even though there was milk stored in the fridge. NO, I was woken up every single time he let out a little whine. I was woke up to change his diaper, feed him, wash the laundry, do the dishes, take down the christmas decor, cook dinner. I was so sick I kept getting dizzy and I wasn't allowed to rest at all. I am just so ready to say F you and take my taxes, my son and run away! I don't think he would notice much less care. I'm so upset I am starting to hate myself for meeting him, granted I am thankful for my son, but I am really beginning not to be thankful for my father's son. I feel ugly, worthless, fat, used and like I have no place. I just want to cry.
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Comment by bean990 on January 10, 2013 at 2:51pm -
I dont know if you would even want advice or to just know that someone else has the same issue as you do... i went threw that with my first son, my husband was such a dope he didnt know what to do about my son, it made me hate him and want to take my son and run away as well, but i realized that if i didnt say something to my husband then my son would be the one to suffer and i just couldnt do that to him, as of your sons father smoking you should make sure that he doesnt smoke around your baby! it has so many risks for your baby and when he is sick it makes it worse for him to breathe! just try and de-stress go tell your doctor how you feel! I hope that you feel better!
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Comment by Rach80 on January 7, 2013 at 8:02pm -
Have you tried talking to your OH? If so and he is not responsive and / or caring i would seriously consider telling him all how you feel especially how used you are feeling. Ask him if he loves you and tell him if he does then it is not just in words but through actions. It sounds like he expects you to do all through thick and thin and has gotten into a habit of this so when you are ill he sees you as simply doing what you have to do , many men do this. Please dont rush into anything as your hormones will be all over the place and you dont want to regret things later. Express how you feel and know that you are not ugly and worthless who has no place but you are a beautifil AMAZING strong woman who has brought life into this world and is depended on and needed by your baby. Well done you for all your work and efforts, they have not been unnoticed by God! May God bless you and keep you and his face shine upon you. I will pray that it resolves and things get easier and your relationship improves .
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