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any advice is greatly appreciated ;)

I know this is kinda personal but I need someone else's opinion. With me and my husband thing are not the same I find messages on Facebook where he is talking to girls. And I have been feeling that our love is fadding fast with in the last six months I have been more depressed then in my life and if u knew me u would know that it is bad. I started hanging out with a friend and her brother and her brother makes me feel like my husband should. I don't like him more than a friend but I also wish my husband would make me feel that way. Is that wrong. I'm starting my first job in three years Thursday and I know it will my mind in a better state. I have tryed to talk to him but he doesn't wanna talk about anything. He just wants to sleep. He's gone all week and comes home on weekends. I'm confused on what to do I want him to be there to watch his son grow up but at the same time I don't want to be miserable my whole life.

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Permalink Reply by Jessica on May 15, 2012 at 10:34am

Talk to your husband about how you are feeling!! Tell him you dont want to fight, you just want to make things better...maybe he is feeling disconnected too. Having a baby changes a relationship so much! You have to figure out new ways to make it work. But communication is the key to a successful marriage! Good Luck!!

Permalink Reply by dmose on May 15, 2012 at 5:09pm

Hello! I had a problem like yours after I had my 2nd child. I tried talking to my husband, but he wouldn't listen either. SO, what I did was randomly leave him with the kids one weekend for a few hours AND I cut my cell phone off! I also did not go to my regular places so he could NOT locate me. (I just walked around in walmart across town & took myself to lunch.) lol! BUT it did give him an idea of what I went through daily with the kids. THAT got his attention...(albeit the wrong way, but hey..it worked.) THEN he decided to talk to me. We got a lot of stuff off our chests. HE felt like I didn't have time for him anymore because I poured soooo much time into the new baby & my other son. It made him feel like I didn't want him anymore and that he was competing for me with the kids and he couldn't win. SOOOO maybe you might want to set aside time just for him when he comes home to make him feel wanted again... (men are just as needy, but they wont say that! WE are suppose to read their minds...go figure!) BUT I hope this helps. It helped me.

Permalink Reply by Anna Resta on May 23, 2012 at 12:03am

Maybe you all need to try seeing help. He may be depressed also and its hard when both are feeling bad. A Dr. Can help

Permalink Reply by Heather Rice on June 2, 2012 at 1:18am

You need to confront your husband about the Facebook thing, totally unacceptable... a form of cheating, if he is doing that I can only imagine what his phone looks like, or what he is up to out of town. I hope you have enough self esteem to know you deserve more! I think you seem to know the answer in your heart already but you really don't want to face it because it means your son having divorced parents. But I think what you need to remember is that having a son with a happy mom, is much better than having a son with a depressed mom. Not to mention the atmosphere at home is going to quickly deteriorate if in fact you and your husband are on emotionally separated (as it sounds like you already are) and you don't want your son to have to be affected by that... If you really believe in your marriage don't give up and fight for it, but it doesn't sound like he deserves that.

Permalink Reply by Mrz garza on June 2, 2012 at 6:19am

I can honestly relate to what your going through. And as much as everyone has commented on here for you at the end sweetie you know what you have to do. Hearing how and what other went through is a good thing but also a bad thing. Hearing all the negativity from the women who actually had bad men in their lives can make you think wrongly of your husband who just might be inoccent. Or he could not. But it's actually up to you to find your comfort zone again with your husband and yourself. All a person can say is we wish your relationship well and if you should need comfort or a person for strength you could always turn to the mothers on mom 365. However this site is for Mother to make friends and stand by them. So as a stay home mom to another I'm extending my hand and a shoulder if you shall ever need anyone to listen. Cause many people say its easier to say how you feel at loud then to keep them bottle up. Wish you well.

Permalink Reply by Becky Simpkins on June 14, 2012 at 4:44pm

Thanks everyone for the support we have worked it out yes it took some time but we are happy and together ;) we are actually about to buy a new house together because we are gonna need more room cause we are expecting our second child im 8 weeks and one day ;) thanks everyone again yall have helped me out alot ;)

Permalink Reply by Cindy on June 30, 2012 at 7:26am

Have you tried counseling? Sometimes you can’t make things work out. I love my husband but at the same time I love, myself more. If you feel he’s fading away you need to worry about you and your baby. God will only give as much as you can handle. Try counseling and if that doesn’t work maybe separation is what you guys need. He needs to want to be with you as much as you want to be with him for things to work out... I hope things get better.....

Permalink Reply by EastTexasMommy on August 30, 2012 at 1:39am

Glad to hear things are better. Congrats on the baby. Don't forget that a date night is a way to keep the flame going. If you every need someone to talk to message me. :) Also glad that you tried to work it out.