I have a serious baby face and even though I am 22 and married people automatically see me with my 3 month old daughter and ask me questions about finishing high school and other condescending things like that. It doesn't help that I don't fit into any of my cute clothes from before pregnancy so I'm wearing sweat pants and t shirts which make me look much younger. Usually I just let this roll right off me but it is currently effecting my job search because I have been a professional nanny for years but now when people meet me and I talk about my daughter they close up immediately until I mention my husband or being in my 5th year of college or something that validates my age. It's frustrating and I just wanted to vent.... anyone else???
I am the same way. im 21 and by myself i look mature for my age, no one believes that im only 21 but when im with brooke everyone is like oh shes a teen mom. but were engaged only becuase we were responsible and bought a house insead of a wedding because we needed more space. but i feel like i have to bring up how amazing my life is to make them see i am not a teen mom. and that im almost dont with school and how i work at a doctors office and all that stuff. but i def understand.
Many of us have been in this same position as you. I am 23 and am pregnant with our 3rd. My hubby and I have been married for almost 6 years. I married when I was 18 and had our first when I was still 19 almost 20. It is hard to get the teen mom/irresponsible look but you do just have to let it go. Once your baby gets older and sees how well behaved your child is it will help a great deal. I am amazed at how people react to my 1 and 4 year olds as we go through a store or wherever. They are constantly getting smiles and comments. Just a couple of days ago my girls and I were in the post office in a huge line. My girls did super well and I got several comments from the older people in line. As I walked out I heard the lady that had been behind me in line comment on how well behaved the girls were to the worker there and he agreed. It is hard when the first is so young but stick it out and become the best mom you can be and soon they will see. Looks do go a long way in our society today as well so make sure you do try to look your best if you don't want to get the looks. Don't go out and buy a whole new wardrobe but something that helped me was to try to do your hair and makeup grown up as much as possible. Take care of yourself too - hard to do on little sleep I know - but well worth the effort if you want to keep from getting looks. It always helps to take your hubby on the shopping trip too... Hope this is helpful - good luck. If all else fails come up with something that will leave them stunned or speechless - if nothing else it will give you a good laugh at their expense LOL!
Same here. My mom never believed I got dirty looks when it was just my son and I, till one day we went to the grocery store and we were at the check out. My son said mommy and I said what. The cashier was like oh he's yours and I said yes. Then he just gave me a look. I said I am 23 and then he was like oh, I thought you were 16. When I was pregnent I was sitting in the waiting room of the eye doctors and a lady was all like do you plan on finishing school after you have your kid, how far along are you? With a straight face I just looked at her and said I wasn't pregnent, I'm just fat.
I totally feel where you are coming from.
i am 21 and also have some stories ... people well i am very petite so i look really young i was at work and brought up my daughter a customer told me u have a daughter you dont look a day over 15 ! i am also not allowed to wear my ring at work and had another customer she was a mom and said are u raising her by yourself and i said no i work 25 hrs a week this is my sanity job i stayed at home the first 15 months my hubby works at tyson but really the nerve to assume i am a single mom just because i am a waitress. my huubby is 11 yrs older and i will tell u what i get treated with wayyy more respect when we are out as a family but when it is just me and her i definantly get comments and stares! o and when i was 8 months pregnant i went out to eat with a family friend the waitress had the nerve to tell me ohh ur pregasnt u look way to young to be having a baby... well i am not to young i am pregnant right!
people should really mind there buisness anyways. its not any of their buisness even if you werent married
Hi! I'm on the same boat! I'm 25 years old and have a 7 month old boy however I look like I can still be in high school and it doesn't help that I'm only 5 feet tall. Whenever I go out with my son older women just stare as if I'm a teen mom. They give me that pitty look. I think it's time we come up with some "I'm Older than I look shirts" LOL
It's really annoying but hey, when these women who actually look their age turn 30 or 40 we'll look better than them ;)
I'm 27 and people think I'm like 15. I don't let it bother me at all, because it's nice to look younger than you are rather than older than you are!! I don't really care what people think about me (although at church when I help out with the elementary school girls, I make sure they know I'm in my late 20s and not a teen mom!!! lol)
I think a lot of people will have an opinion on others no matter what. I know when i was pregnant with my daughter, towards the end my fingers swelled and I had to take my wedding ring off, and I was noticing a lot of people staring at my hand and then my belly with a disapproving look. Even if I had been unmarried, that doesn't warrant their disapproval. I don't let much of anything bother me where strangers are concerned. They only see me in passing and I'm not going to waste my time making them feel better.
I know it can be difficult as far as a job search goes, and in situations like that i'd just continue making subtle (or obvious) hints about your age. My sister is almost 3 years older than me and she has been confused for the younger sibling our entire lives. I look older than 22, so I have never had the baby face problem, but my sister knows she will when she has kids. Take people's comments with a grain of salt!
I'm 23 but South Asian and I definitely look like I'm in my teens (my mom is in her 50s and she could pass for 35). And I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my daughter - couldn't wear my ring and was finishing doctoral school, so the stares of disapproval just got worse since I was walking on a college campus all day! I wish I'd had your positive attitude about it, and not gotten so bent out of shape about it!
Now that I take my daughter on errands during the day, I've found myself intentionally paying with my left hand so cashiers see the ring on my finger, or starting sentences with "My husband thinks..." or "My husband says..." when strangers make small talk so they know I'm married.
I'm 23, and look about 15, and my husband is 25 and looks young as well. People stare all time. My doctor was really weird about pushing birth control on me, despite my husband and I having planned our child. She said she would hate to see me back there in another year. I have to try harder to dress older when I leave the house to avoid stares and comments. Ugh.
I am 28 with a 6 month old and married and I have this happen EVERY TIME I LEAVE THE HOUSE! I used to work in a doctor's office where ALL the patients knew me for years and they would still ask if I was married yet...When I was pregnant my ring didn't fit, I kept getting dirty looks on top of these comments, so I bought a fake one to wear. In my region it isn't uncommon to see a teen mom around every corner, but honestly, the looks I get, grrrr.... I know I will appreciate it when I'm older, but seriously it gets out of control, especially since I don't wear a ton of makeup and dress up often (typically a T-Shirt and Jeans) and I am quite petite... My 17 year old brother looks my age and I still got into functions at the high school because they recognized me and thought I was still a student (I graduated 10 years ago). Anyway yes, I understand completely!
Thanks all! It's nice to know I'm not the only one. :) And yes, by the time we're in our 40s we're going to love that we look young!