My son is 8 1/2 months and last week his babysitter up and quit in the middle of the week. I live in a small town and it is very hard to find people that are able to take babies. He has a spot in a licensed daycare in 3 months but I need someone now!
I have a friend who is a stay at home mom and she said she is more then happy to help me out and watch him for a few months, so I started taking him there Monday. The first day he was very fussy, but he was fussy for us that morning and night so I think he just didn't feel good. Yesterday went better but she said he was only happy if she was right there with him and that he didn't like her kids being around. I couldn't believe that he doesn't like kids because he has been around other kids before and hasn't had a problem. This morning when I dropped him off he was fine with her kids, he jabbered with them and sat on the floor playing with a toy right next to them while I was sitting on the couch away from him and he never even looked for me. Then her kids started fighting which caused them to scream, which is fine they are kids that's what they do....but that is when my son started crying and wanted to be held. I had to leave for work about that time and she said he cried for an hour after I left. I think the noise and screaming is scaring him which is why he wants her to be with him all the time. In one way my friend seems to understand that it is a big change for him and her house is a lot different then where is was before when he was the only kid there. In another way she acts like she doesn't want to stick it out and help him though it. I don't want to keep switching him around because I think he will just get worse, but should I try to find someone else or try to stick it out?
I'd say it's important to have a talk with your friend about helping your son. It's completely normal for kids to fight, and even when he gets into Daycare I am sure there will be more children who will at times get angry or scream or do something that will frighten him. Not that he necessarily has to "get used to it," but I suppose it's similar to the vacuum cleaner. The less a child is exposed to it, the more they are likely to be frightened because they don't understand what's going on and fear some harm will come to them. So maybe tell your friend that when her children do something to frighten him, that she should get down on the floor with him, not necessarily pick him up but be near him for reassurance, and tell her to laugh and act like nothing is scary. "Oh, did those big kids scream? What a loud noise!" Something like that, so she is explaining what is happening, comforting him, but not removing him from it so that he feels it's something he should be scared of.