I am a mother of three...10/b...8/g... and 18mths/g. I very recently made the desicion to send my oldest to be with his father. Now....I'm not proud to say it, but all 3 of my babies have different dads. I rently got back together with my oldest daughters father who love all 3 the same. He right now is upset with me for sending my sonwith his dad. My reasoning for it is as follows. He is a very angry child. I know its from all I have put him through. He fights and is violent towards his sister. I can't control him and he is almost as big as me. If you can imagine, just turned 10 and wears 8 1/2 mens shoes! I recently found out from my oldest daughter 8, that's he has inappropriately touched her on quite a few occasions. Now my biggest fear is if he can do that to her and she can talk, what could he do to my baby. Now big question. Am I a terrible mother for not wanting him with us?? I love him sooo much but I can't do it anymore! Help me!
I'm sorry that you're in this position, but sending him to live with his father isn't going to fix the problem. It sounds like your son has severe emotional issues. Also, for a boy that young to be inappropriately touching his sister makes me wonder if he learned that behavior from somebody doing it to him.
Whether he's with you or his dad, he needs to be seen by a psychologist. He needs therapy to figure out what is causing these behaviors, and how to fix them. He sounds like a young boy who is crying out for help. It's up to you to get it for him.
I don't exactly know if the answer is to send him to his Father... it may actually make matters worse (psychologically). I would suggest taking him to a psychologist because there is obviously some very heavy things weighing on him that could potentially scar him for life if they are not sorted out now. It is a very normal and helpful thing to seek an outside specialist like this. When my parents divorced at 7, I saw a psychiatrist until I was 14 years old just to deal with the anxiety from my family separating. It helped me tremendously, and I am such a better person to this day for it! I think your biggest fear right now should be not only how he is physically acting towards his siblings, but also how this could potentially escalate with other children or people as he gets older (and stronger). And Jen makes a very great point in questioning where he may have learned this behavior, I think you need to get to the bottom of this... and the longer it gets pushed under the rug and not sorted out the harder it is to fix. With him moving to another place with his Father, the same behavior and problems will follow. He needs someone to talk to (a specialist who has dealt with behavior like this before in other children) who can help him and get to the bottom of it.
It's very sad that you a