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Temper tantrums already!?!
to throw temper tantrums? My daughter is beginning to
master them. The problem is my husband and I are at a loss
for how to handle it... Everyone says time out is good, and that
You are suppose to put them there for every minute they are
old; ie: 3 years=3 minutes... What so you do when
your child isnt even a year old!?!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Erika, Star Mom on -
My son was a very docile and quiet child, so I didn't have this problem. Are you sure she's not just high maintenance? My niece was like that at that age. Constantly wanting attention, getting bored easily. She just might not be a very independent child. I'm not sure on how to deal with dependent children, but it might be something to look into?
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Permalink Reply by tkowatch on -
I'm having the same problem. My daughter is now 11 months old and has been having "tantrums" since she was around 9 months. I was also wondering how to handle it. I know time out works when they get older but I just don't think they can comprehend it at this age. The best thing I have found is to ignore the behavior if at all possible, then praise anything positive that she does.
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Permalink Reply by Christi, Star Mom on -
you don't want to start time outs with a 9 months old - they're far too young to "get it" at that age. 24 months is the earliest that it's recommended. we did start at about 18 months, but with a modified time out - we sat with our son for 30 seconds as a "cooling off" period. at 27 mo we still do the same thing, but for a longer period of time - 45 seconds to a minute. that's neither here nor there, though, because you're not at that stage yet. :)
what is it that she's doing? throwing herself down and crying? if that's the case i agree with tkowatch - just walk away. make sure she's not in an area where she can get hurt, and then just walk away and ignore her. if she's doing them for attention (which is extremely possible) then that should get them to stop (or at least slow down).
if she's doing something like hitting in a tantrum, i would take her firmly by the hand, make serious eye contact and say something along the lines of "we do not hit. be gentle." and show her what you mean by gentle. then if she continues to throw a tantrum, walk away and ignore.
at that age there really isn't much you can do in terms of punishment because they just won't get it - but they can learn that you won't give acknowledgement to bad behavior and you can teach her proper behavior (in terms of being gentle, etc.).
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Permalink Reply by tkowatch on
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very well said. I love the way you have a "cooling off" time with your son. I'm going to have to try that when my LO gets older. Right now I just try to give her words to express what she seems to be feeling since I think a lot of hers is frustration over not being able to tell us everything that she is thinking or wanting to do yet. So screaming is her only way...not crying just bawling up fist and screaming in frustration...to let us know how she is feeling and that she is not happy with something. I try to validate her feelings...i.e. "i know you don't want to get yours hands washed but you just ate and are very sticky then we can get down". Or other things along that line. It works sometimes others I just have to let her scream...wait for her to calm down then talk with her.
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Permalink Reply by muffetjane on -
Too young for time outs. It may be that she wants something or is interested in something and then gets interrupted, so it is more a frustration/can't express herself issue. Try to put yourself in her "shoes" and watch for things that trigger her (is it transitions, something specific happening before it each time, etc...) She's too young at this point to really be able to control the tantrums, so it's up to you to help her either avoid them or work through them effectively (and use this opportunity to help her label things with words!)
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Permalink Reply by MommyofAdoraRose on -
My daughter will be 9 months in 3 days and she has tantrums a lot. When she wants something and I don't allow her to have it..i.e. my dirty keys, she will cry and/or throw herself back. I'm a Social Worker and even besides that fact, I don't believe in time out rather time in. So when Adora does that I simple say, "Mommy is sorry but these keys are dirty and you can't have them." I then give her a substitute item or do something to grab her attention. Let's face it, babies are people too and like us they get upset when they want something they can't have. Validate her feelings and move on. Just don't give in b/c you don't want to be inconsistent. The tantrums shall pass. Time out for a 9 mo old doesn't teach them anything other than mommy/daddy is leaving me. This is a critical time where we are teaching our babies safety and security with us. Besides, cognitively babies can't make the connection between behavior and punishment....this will pass mom, no worries!
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Permalink Reply by Tina on -
I have a 11 month old and started to see tantrums when she was seven months. studies have shown that reinforcing expected behavior isn't understood until the end of eight months old. now that she is eleven months I allow her to voice her displeasure to a certain extent, then redirect her in a calm loving voice while holding her to another item, behavior, etc. that I want her to display. she really snaps out of it quick especially when I tell her in a very calm voice that this behavior is not going to happen today, that I love her very much, and to redirect her energy. Although she probably only understands a portion of what i'm saying, she for sure can tell my tone and that I say the same thing every time. when she calms, I reinforce to her what a good girl she is, and how much I love her. Kiss her, and move on. it has really worked for me. hope you have success. Time outs definitly are not recommended for that age. she will only feel abandoned, insecure, and really won't understand why you left. plenty of years ahead to use time out
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