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Should I say Something!!??
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jen, Mom365 Host on -
While I appreciate Maggie's thought about discussing this with the mother, I wouldn't wait. For a situation like this, I would call CPS and have them send an investigator out. If this woman thinks it's appropriate to spray a newborn in the face for crying, I can only imagine what that will escalate to when the child actually has the presence of mind to do something naughty.
Hopefully CPS will be able to follow her progress while enforcing parenting classes. You can call anonymously. Don't delay. This is abuse.
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Permalink Reply by Mom0411 on -
Hi; I would certainly address this mother and the family! I mean if this isn't abuse, it certainly is borderline, and I would let her and the family know that you are not trying to attack or judge. But that maybe this is not the best way to discipline a 3 month old, as if he could really do any wrong during this time. But I would talk to them as calmly and respectful as posible. If the mother already has mental issues, she may already have a case worker that visits the home and checks in on things. Are you really close to this family, how often are you able to visit or spend time with them, its possible that maybe they are unaware that their actions are or could be considered abuse, and I would stongly suggest you talking upfront and personal with the family first.
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Permalink Reply by samanths hines on -
I honestly dont think cps can do anything in this situation she is not physically harming the child and i think it is riduculous to squirt a 3 months old, babies cry for a reason i admit i use this method on my 2 yr old time outs dont work and i am not into spanking At 2 year old has a concept of right and wrong she knows it is a no no yet she is testing her boundaries. It seems to be a very affective thing for my toddler which we just started in recent weeks but i did no sort of disicpline until she hit one and that was just a 1-2 min time out. I totally disagree with her action but i have no advice on what to do it is a tricky situation!
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Permalink Reply by Shannon, Star Mom on
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I would definitely do something about it. The thing is, if you say something now to them... and if nothing changes, and THEN you call CPS they will obviously know it was you. If you don't say anything and just call CPS anonymously and have them handle it you can remain anonymous and still hope for something to be done about it. Even if CPS does nothing about it after looking into it (they will most likely go to the home and question the family w/ this accusation, investigate, and then decide what to do), just w/ that the family will at the very least be made aware that obviously throwing water in a babies face is absolutely wrong... enough to make CPS visit the home. Which is pretty much the same thing you would make known if you approach them yourself... it's just better to let someone with authority handle it. If the family really believes this is a productive way to discipline, I highly doubt hearing advice from another parent on the proper way to discipline will do much- no one wants to hear from another parent that their parenting style or discipline methods are wrong. So, I 100% agree w/ Jen calling CPS is best... and definitely let them know about her mental state as well.
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Permalink Reply by Sassymom on -
Re: those on here who have said that this is not abuse because they baby has not been "physically harmed." You are absolutely incorrect. Although the laws defining abuse and neglect vary from state to state, many states do not require physical injury and/or that the child receive medical care before an act is considered to be physical abuse. Depending on the state that you are in, the scenario that you are describing may be physical abuse, emotional abuse and/or neglectful supervision (on the part of the mother who allows the father to do this as well as on the part of the father). Also, remember that the definitions of abuse and neglect necessary for CPS intervention may be different than the criminal definitions of abuse and neglect necessary for police intervention. Bottom line is that you must report this to CPS before this mistreatment escalates. Most states have confidentiality statutes protecting the "reporter" and while you may have to giver your name to CPS, they are probably prohibited by law from disclosing it to the family. Also, in some states if you know or suspect abuse or neglect, you are reqired by law to report it. It is not uncommon for abusers like this man to escalate their behavior when they see that no one around them is protecting the child. Also, if he is squirting a 3 month old in the face and this is pretty much common knowledge in the family, then he is doing other things that people do not know about. Please, please for the sake of this child call CPS in your state today!
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Permalink Reply by samanths hines on
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i said report it but they may not do anything... i know in my state to be considerated abuse you have to either hit a chlild with a object other than your hand and if it is with your hand it has to be open palm and can not leeave a red mark for more than 2 hrs the laws are pretty specific even though spraying a infant in the face with water is frowned upon they probably cant do much more than advise the behavior stops i agree to report i am just saying i am not sure how far it will go!! BAbies cry for a reason that is how they communicate hunger and discomfort and should not be repromanded for it!
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Permalink Reply by seddins12 on
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Definitely say something. At 3 months old, it is the baby's JOB to cry! Hearing this story struck a nerve with me because my boys are my everything. SMH they should be ashamed of themselves......
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Permalink Reply by virgo_ on -
My baby is 3 months old she seriously can't do wrong in my eyes at 3 months. There's no discipline needed it jus sound like tournent at 3 months all I can do is imagine someone doing this to my baby(I see red). Do something whether it's indirectly or not. I hope you've done something by now!!
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Permalink Reply by Erika, Star Mom on -
This is SO not right to me. That is something you do to your cat if she won't get off the table or something. I'm horrified. Definitely not a good idea to keep quiet about it because if she takes this so called "discipline" to a level which is more harmful you'll never forgive yourself for not speaking up. A 3 month old needs to be loved not disciplined! They barely have control over their muscle movement let alone are able to do something "wrong." I hope something is done about this!
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Permalink Reply by MeganLJones on
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I say call CPS right away that is not right and if the mother does have a mental problem than the child might need to go live with someone else.
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Permalink Reply by Veronica King on -
I think you should speak up this is child abuse first it starts off with a water bottle next thing you'll regret not speaking up this is complete torment and if she has a mental illness she is NOT able to be the best mother to that child stop the abuse please my heart is breaking DO SOMETHING!!!!!!
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