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Before I can actually ask my question, I need to give some back story first. I started potty training my daughter when she was about a year and 7 months old. It worked really well at first. She would run to the bathroom if she needed to pee. Sometimes she would make it, sometimes she wouldn't. But, it was progress. Then..my dad babysat for me and all was lost. He misunderstood my daughter when she said she had peed in her diaper. My dad thought that she said she needed to go pee, so he took her to the bathroom and when he found out she peed in her diaper, he reprimanded her and that was the end of our potty training adventure for a while. She was so scared of the potty after that. We tried again when she was just over 2 years old. It started out slowly but eventually was doing great. She'd even sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and take herself to the bathroom. Well, we moved to a different state and we were living with friends so it was challenging to keep the potty routine going. They only had one bathroom and hated the fact that my family was staying with them. They are hugely anti-children. Well, anyways, we back tracked a bit on the potty training but as soon as we moved into our own house, we started strong again, only this time...she REFUSES to poop on the potty. This has never been a problem before. It was honestly the other way around when we started. She had trouble peeing on the potty at first. She couldn't grasp how to hold it. But, now she's a pro at peeing on the potty and holding it until she can get to a bathroom, but pooping is a whole different story. She'll scream and cry if I try to take her to the bathroom to poop. She even holds all day until bedtime when we put her in Pull-Ups. It literally sounds like someone is trying to murder her anytime she has to poop. If she can't hold it, she throws a fit until I put her in a Pull-Up. This morning, I stood my ground and told her that she needed to go on the potty like a big girl and as she was running to the bathroom (tears and all) she went in her underwear. In the midst of her temper tantrum, I can make out the words "My butt hurts" and "I can't go on the potty. It hurts. I need a Pull-Up." She's definitely not constipated so I don't understand why she acts this way. How do I help her through her apprehensive attitude about going poop on the toilet? Like I said, this has never been an issue before. This just started happening about 6 months ago. I've spoken to her doctor about it and he said she'll grow out of it. But, she'll be starting pre-school next year and I know a requirement is for them to be completely potty trained. I'm worried that if I can't figure out to work through this with her, her schooling will be put on hold.

Help, Mommies!

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I have a friend who went through something similar with her daughter. The doctor suggested adding extra fiber to her diet and giving her prune juice with breakfast. That way her bowels would definitely need to go much sooner than bedtime. Then, start a reward chart. Pick something your daughter really wants; a trip to the zoo, a play date, an ice cream party, a special toy or doll--whatever. Then put up a chart with 5 or so boxes. She gets a star each day she poops on the potty. She loses a star each day she doesn't poop on the potty. When the boxes are all filled, she gets her prize.

Her daddy has suggested prune juice as well. I was just afraid if I did that, I'd have a mess on my hands like I did yesterday morning. I'm definitely open to trying just about anything.

My friend's son went through this. The bigger of a deal she made it, the worse it became. There were threats, bribes, reward systems... Nothing worked. Eventually he just got over it. You do have some time before she needs to be fully trained, maybe you just have to back away from it now and let her go in the pull-up. How old is she now?

She's 3. That's what I've been doing. When she starts acting up and screaming that she needs a pull up, I'll ask her if she wants to try to go on the potty and sometimes, I'll take her in there to try but it always ends up with me putting her in a pull up. I don't yell at her or reprimand her for it. I calmly suggest that she should use the big girl potty and talk to her about it. I don't feel yelling or anything like that is going to solve anything. I just can't help but to think that she's not going to be able to start pre school next year because of her apprehension of using the toilet.

Hang in there Ally. Are you sure it's a requirement for her to be potty-trained before pre-school? My two daughters go to pre-school now and they definitely don't have that requirement. If they did I'd be in trouble! Most schools are or should be supportive and compassionate about the potty training issue; if this one is not maybe you could switch to a different school. My older daughter is almost four and I still can't call her completely potty-trained. She too took at least six months before she would poop on the potty, although she had no problem peeing on it. She still has poopy accidents in her underwear, but we just deal with it. We still use pull-ups during the night. Like the others have said, don't put too much pressure on her and don't reprimand her for not using the potty. Maybe buy some fun accessories for the bathroom, like a Disney princess step-stool and soft toilet seat. Or her own little potty if she prefers a baby potty. I go to the bathroom in front of my girls so they can comfortable with it. We also do stickers and rewards sometimes for pooping on the potty. In the end, this too shall pass, so try not to stress to hard. Good luck!

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