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Not sure if I should leave my baby's father.
When i was pregnat, the first two months he was not there for me because he was with one of his ex. Before i had gotten pregnat he would cheat on me all the time. When i was about two to three months we had got back together and he had told me that he wanted to be a family. The day that we had first heard the babies heartbeat, that same night i had seen text messages on his phone telling his ex that he missed her and also talking to some other girl he had cheated on me before with telling her that he loved her. Of course since thinking of my daughter i chose to stay with him. Well a couple days ago i had found out that hes been cheating on me since february. He was talking to girls about having sex with them. Now i dont know what to do, Im tired of his lies but i dont want my daughter to be without a dad. When i talk to him about leaving he says that he never wants to talk to me no matter if its about the baby that when i bring her over just to drop her off and leave. He has a serious temper though so how should i trust hom? Hes even laid his hands on me and the baby. What should i do?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kelly on -
You are already alone unfortunately. By staying you enable the behavior, put your safety and daughter's safety at risk and even worse start the cycle of abuse for your daughter. She will learn that this is how men treat women and will carry that for the rest of her life. Love your child more than him and do what is in her best interest. I was in an abusive relationship when I was pregnant with my daughter who is now 16. I took him back when she was born and wound up leaving when she was 7 months old. I have never regretted that decision in 16 years. It was hard, I'm not going to lie, but she is now 16 and has terrific self esteem and every sacrifice was well worth it.
Don't be afraid to be alone. Don't fear you will never find someone. Don't fall prey to fear at all. Believe in your heart that you are worth it and deserve a man that sees the strength and beauty within you and CHERISHES you! Also, if he is physically abusing you and your daughter, please report this to the police. You need to protect yourself and child from this. Don't fall into the trap of thinking its not a big deal, he didn't mean it, he only pushed me etc. Any physical act that is done with anger, rage or in an attempt to control you against your will is abuse. Love yourself and your baby and get out and begin to heal. Best of luck
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Permalink Reply by Tiffany Ann Hulst on
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i would leave him. You dont deserve to be hit and once a cheater always a cheater. Hes goin to tell you hes gonna quit and he might for a whie, but then hes goin to do it again. And do you want to be with someone that cheats on you and one day he might give you a gift that just dont go away. Or hes gonna have a whole lot of babies with everyone and you. You need someone that love you and only you and your daughter.Plus that temper is only gonna get worse. I use to be with a guy that beat me when i was pregnant. and i lost my baby from it. So if you want your daugher and you to be save id leave. cause if he hits you hell eventually hit her one day
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Permalink Reply by Jen Franklin, Star Mom on
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Honey, you need to leave. Is this the kind of environment that you would want to raise your child in? I know that you want the father to be around, but if the father isnt of any quality, and respectful of the two of you, then you don't need him around. Let the other girls figure out the quality of him- its his loss that he will lose you, not your loss. You are worth more than that- and deserve, and will find, much better. This is a time to enjoy your daughter, not fear that the father will hit both of you. You dont want your daughter to witness, experience, and definitely not repeat that pattern. Good luck with everything- you can do it.
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Permalink Reply by Andrea A on -
I didn't really read thru all of the comments on here but I did see that they all say leave him in some way or another. What I'm saying is come on now girl. You shouldn't have to ask any of us this. No matter how much you love that man, the day you found out you were preggo was the day you stopped living your life just for you. How much does your child need a daddy who hits her already??? YOU are her role model! It's YOUR job to give her morals values and beliefs. YOUR job to protect her from bad people (i.e. her dad) Seriously, don't fail your daughter. She NEEDS you.
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on
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i kicked my ex husband out when he tried to hit me again. honestly i feel it was the best choice i ever made for us ive accomplished more in the past 4 months with out him than i did in the 4 years we were together. i'm happier olivia is on a schedule and were doing great. im not saying its easy being a single mom but emotionally and everything else that invoves us is so much better. i dont get to spend as much time with her as i used to but when we do its wonderful and i have a great family to help us. whatever u decide think it thru. i was in a rough situation and had him arrested 3 times before i finally was done but it was the best choice i ever made. its def not ideal but its better than it was for us. good luck! hope this heped!
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Permalink Reply by Shani Horton on -
You have to be strong you for the baby and leave. You do not want her growing up in that unhealthy enviroment. I understand you want her to have a father but it sounds to me she may do better with out him. You should never let anyone put there hands on your or your baby. Your baby depends on you to protect her!!! Think about it!!!
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Permalink Reply by JC:) on
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Leave! I went thru exact same thing. It went on during the time I got our pregnant with our 1st daughter (my 2nd) and during 7 months of my pregnancy with our 2nd daughter (my now 5 month old, my 3rd daughter). He hit me while I was pregnant. Cheated on me constantly and had 3 other kids during our "relationship" that I had no idea about at the time. And to top it off he wouldn't help our kids. So I finally got the courage after yrs to be done with him. It was hard. I never filed a restraining order or reported him (which I should have and regret that I didnt). My children don't need someone like that in their lives. Biological father or not. My kids have a boatload of father figures in my family to dont what their dad never did and pretend that he can't dont.
Don't put your baby thru the fights and dishonesty.
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