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Need more help from daddy!
My son is almost six months old and im 19 and so is his father. i know we had a kid young but we both wanted him we are doing good taking care of him his father works 40 hrs a week and we make enough but i just need more help everyday after work he is with his friends and i understand that he is 19 and needs to be with his friends but i am stuck at home all day by myself with our son and i barely get any help form him it stresses me out alot even when i wasnt feeling to well he was still with his friends thank fully that only lasted a few hours and i felt better. But i love my son with all my heart but im afraid that he isnt really going to "know" his dad because he is never really spending time with him. And to make things more stressful i an now until july 1st a gaurdian of a 14 yr old girl and i dont get any help with her either that makes everything worse cause i went from being a mom of a five month old son to having to take care of a teenage girl too this is really hard and sometimes i just wanna give up then i feel bad because i think of my son and i feel bad for even feeling like i wanna give up cause i have to be here for him. i do have family that will babysit but lately ive been wanting a babysitter every weekend even just so i can sleep and i dont want to have family always watching him even thou i know they love to i feel bad for having them spend there weekend day with him just cause i need a break. my sons dad loves me and i know he does but he doesnt always show it sometimes he is mean and sometimes just dont listen to me he exspects me to do everything he asks me to do but never does he do anything i ask him do to for me cause he always to busy. i was just wishing when our son was born that he would grow up a little more but that didnt really happen and now i dont know what to do friends and family always ask me why i put up with so much crap from him and i never know what to say but i guess its cause i live him and dont wanna loose i just want things to change a little. THANK YOU FOR READING MY RANT! COMMENT IF YOU WILL THANKS!!!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by DaddyD on -
He may be young, but it's time for Dad to step up to the plate. The "friend time" is no longer the priority- the wife and child are. I do the middle of the night feedings, diapers, and take care of her most Saturdays so mom can have a break. It took two to make her- and she needs equal time with both of us. It's tiring, but I wouldn't trade those times holding her for anything in the world. At 5 months, the other night she actually put her little arms around my neck and gave me a hug. What a moment! And by the way- I am the dad. My daughter ranks far, far above the time with the friends. They come and go. She is my little girl for life. If you can get him to read this, he needs to realize, he will never get these opportunities back if he misses them.
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Permalink Reply by Alex Vernon on -
i had this problem while i was pregnant. dad was doing spice the new synthetic weed ....but after my daughter was born he realised that he needed to step up and help and he has but through my pregnancy i wasnt with him i left him so he could get a wake up call and it worked ....idk if that will help you but i know that my guy needed it to help him out
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Permalink Reply by TanyaJuarez on
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You can only control you and what you. Be the mommy you want to be. Get out of the house even if its only to take your baby for a walk through the park. Do things for yourself to make yourself happy. I don't think you need to break it off with your man to get him to see what he's missing you gotta show him that there is something to miss while he has a front row seat and that's hard to do when he knows you're at home not doing anything except waiting around for him. Happiness and confidence are sexy remind him why he loves you and show him how fun it is being a parent by enjoying your little one.
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Permalink Reply by Perihelion on -
I'm so lucky to have an awesome husband who has been very involved from the beginning. We aren't teenagers, but I think our methods should still be applicable. Very early on we started negotiating on baby responsibilities. Neither of us makes solo arrangements with friends without clearing it with the other first. We also try to balance time away, so that we get an equal share. Knowing the expectations (like Dad is responsible for bath time and/or entertaining the baby until bed time) helps us know and complete our responsibilities without arguing. Sometimes we switch responsibilities, but through sharing responsibilities and good communication we are able to avoid major arguments and resentment.
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Permalink Reply by Jessica Reeves on -
Wow seems like we all have trouble with our men helping like they should. I'm 21 and have a 7 month old and my fiancé is 24. He works nights so I understand the not helping during the day he works 4 and off 4 and while he's in his 4 off he stays up all night playing wow and half the time I have to get up and tend to my lo. I only think its fair if he helps while he is up a night. He helps maybe once the whole 4 days he's off. But my lo goes to his grandparents like every other weekend if that. But I don't believe it's selfish they love the time with them. I get very stressed easily and it's hard with him teething and being fussy all day.
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Permalink Reply by km.8789 on -
Have you tried just asking him when you want him to do something? My boyfriend was the same way at first, he just saw me do everything and never offered to help. Now I've realized if I tell him I want help and ask him if he can do something he does. I was really starting to resent him and I would want to punch him any time my daughter cried lol. I wanted him to just know what I needed him to do, but lets face it..he's a guy. haha Guys need more direction, I don't think they will just do something without being asked. Even after talking to him and telling him I needed help he didn't really help much, my daughter would need something and I would just get pissed that he didn't just get up and tend to her, but once I started saying "hey can you do this" he just does it.
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Permalink Reply by Krysta Craycraft on -
I am the same way, I'll ask my husband to do a lot for me when it comes to our son but the thing is I don't want to have to ask for help, I really want him to be willing to wanna help.. I just don't understand why they don't see it like we do, I mean I love feeding and bathing my son. Just wish he did too...
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Permalink Reply by lol on
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You have to remind him you did not make that beautiful baby on your own. He helped make him so he can definately help take care of him. I know being young and having kids can be trying but if he really loves you and his son he will make more of an effort to show it. It is so easy to say I love you because talk is cheap. And now you have a 14yo to contend with KUDOS mama you are being a super hero for her and your son. But, you can not forget you are 19 too what about what you want? I am sure you had friends and a life before you got pregnant so why are you the only one sacrificing? I would point this out to him and if he still fails to understand I am sorry to say but he won't understand until hes about 30 and even then there is no guarantee. It is hard to do things alone but to have to do them alone when you have a perfectly able person to help right next to you is even worse.
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Permalink Reply by KImber on -
I have this problem too occasionally. It seems that he thinks that since he works, I should do everything else. :/
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Permalink Reply by Krysta Craycraft on
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I feel the same way, when I had my son on June 28tht After coming home I did not want any ones help. I felt as though everything was my job to do. Even though I was in pain from having him I still got up every time he needed me. My family ask me all the time if I would like for them to take him one night on the weekend and I keep telling them I don't know because I feel bad if I give my son away for the night just so I can sleep. I know how you feel about trying to just get one night of sleep, makes you feel bad for some reason. It's never about going out anymore and hanging with friends for us, when we don't have are baby, all we would like to do is sleep. However, when it comes to the guy role its a different story. My husband gets a lot of free time to do whatever it is that he wants and I just go with it to make him happy and us not to fight, but how much longer am I going to just let that happen. I would like to have some me time. When I am not working my days off are taking care of my son. When it comes to my husband days off its him doing what he wants and sleeping in.. All I can say is I feel your pain!!!!! when is it to far!!!!! I feel as though the only time my husband is around Eli is because he has to watch him when I go to work. Well I mean I am not going to lie he is around a lot and talking to him and playing with him. I just wish I could get free time like him!!
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