I would say that the first person to discuss this with is your boyfriend. He is the other parent, so he's in the best position to understand why you feel the way you do about things like avoiding sweets. He is also in a much better position to speak up to his family about things without it turning ugly. A little gentle correction from your son or brother feels different than the same from a daughter-in-law or sister-in-law. Be polite, but stick to your guns. My parenting decisions differed a lot from those of my husband's family. With our first daughter it was a bit of a challenge. There was definitely a lot of eye-rolling when the family plunked all the little ones down in front of the TV at family gatherings and I took my daughter into another room. (I didn't let my girls watch TV until age 2 because research indicates there is no benefit before that age and some studies link early TV watching to ADHD.) I think that even though I never once made any comment about anyone else's parenting choices, in a sense, they felt like I was judging them. After all, they all chose to put their little one in front of the TV and I didn't. So that must mean I think they are making a bad parenting choice right? But it really wasn't that way. I knew all along that I was the exception. I don't know very many other people who made their kids wait until 2 for screen time, so I didn't really think much about their choice to let the little ones watch. I guess what I'm saying is, even though you aren't commenting on what your sister-in-law feeds her kids, it may feel like a judgment when you try to justify your decision NOT to feed sweets to yours. Maybe when she sees you making a conscious effort to feed your little one well, it makes her feel bad that she's not so careful about what she's feeding hers. That's why I suggest you let your brother handle it. Guys can get away with a lot more. They'll may roll their eyes and act like he's ridiculous, but they won't feel intimidated like they are being out-mothered.
Well, the babysitter (different from in-laws, but she was a family friend at the time too...) gave my son a McD's french fry at about 8 mos. old... I was DISGUSTED, to say the least. To get my kids hooked on McD's that quickly in life just made me so angry, not to mention it was still a choking hazard at that age (it was the full long french fry). She was really offended that I took it so personally, but I told her unless I bring the food to her please refrain from giving him anything and to please ask first about anything other than that. It's not even just what your baby is digesting, but sugars like that can really impact teeth too... maybe get a pamphlet from your pediatrician or something, some people just aren't educated on the new view/theories on healthy eating habits beginning at a young age in life. My very good friend had to stop bringing her son to her inlaws b/c of this very problem, they learned to finally respect her choices in raising her son b/c of it.
Oh my goodness. . I feel like you are talking about me, lol. I actually have a disease called UC , like Chron's ( if you know what that is ), so I specifically do NOT feed my children before they're 12 mos. Especially sweets, but they absolutely do not respect it at all & brought me to the point that I had to tell them about my disease.. I feel for you!! I am still stuck in the situation because now I am completely uncomfortable with the gma EVER babysitting, because I have absolutely no trust.. It is a big deal to me, as it is to you! I hate it!!!!! I'm young as well, so I don't know if that's what it is or what! But everyone parents different and we should all be respected.