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Has anyone else had intimacy issues after having a baby?
So my daughter is 4 months my son is almost 5 years old. I am breastfeeding only no formula. I do have an interest in becoming intimate with my husband again the only problem is that it still hurts and is completely uncomfortable, which normally leads to me being turned off and just wanting the whole thing to just be over. Anyone else deal with this? My husband is trying to be understanding but he can't figure out how I go from wanting to be with him, to when we start just wanting it to be over. I read that breastfeeding makes it more difficult to be "ready" down there and I am starting to think that may be true.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Melissa A on -
I was like that with my first child. Though I had only one stitch after it healed I felt pain until my son was 9 months old. Around 11 months though I was good to go. The bigger issue was I had no libido. You should keep trying and once the pain goes away you'll be good to go again. It'll be okay. I didn't have stitches with my second child but it still hurt a little until she was about 6 months. I think breastfeeding leads to hormonal changes and causes vaginal dryness? I think that's why it might cause issues but I'm not sure.
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Permalink Reply by Jer'Maine on -
I do not breast feed, i use formula. I have intimacy issuses I think because im still uncomfortable after giving birth on May 31, 2010. I am so busy and focused on other things involving my son that the intimacy with my spouse hasnt been workin like he would want it to be. I think he gets upset but I dont know what to do because I just dont be in the mood!
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Permalink Reply by Chrisa on -
I had this problem too. Everyone has this problem. It's worse if you breastfeed. We mamas get through it by finding other ways to be intimate with our husbands until things become more comfortable down there. Even though we may not be in the mood, our husbands still need our attention.
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Permalink Reply by Jill Mortensen on -
This is interesting to read. I just got doctors clearance to be intimate with my husband. During my pregnancy I was hardly intimate because I was sick, too tired, or too big to be comfy. He was really understanding and I just felt really bad, guilty all the time. Now he is ready now that our daughter is here and I'm healed, but I'm scared of the pain, still have issues with my hemorrhoids and of course...really tired. That is not a good recipe to have when your husband is totally ready...
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Permalink Reply by Courtney on -
I was lucky enough that with this pregnancy and delivery that I didn't have any stitches or anything, I guess it must be the hormones working against me still. I do feel bad for the hubby but he has been pretty understanding, with our first child I formula fed so I think he is a little confused. I also think that sometimes at the end of the day I am just tired of being needed so when I would like to just be close to him and he thinks that means sex it just frustrates us both.
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Permalink Reply by Christi, Star Mom on -
is the uncomfortable feeling due to dryness? that is a pretty common side effect of breastfeeding - or so i was told. have you tried using a lubricant? for the first few months i was definitely on the dry side and kept the astroglide nearby (sorry if TMI!). it really seemed to help, so it could be worth a shot - if you think that might be part of the issue.
good luck - it is incredibly frustrating! :(
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