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Co-Sleeping Drama
My husband and I just had our second baby, he's been home for almost two weeks now. Our two year old has been sharing a room with us, sleeping with us, the entire two years of his life, with the exception of a few months earlier on. He has been sleeping with us consistently since May. Well now we tried putting his toddler bed in our room with us, but usually our newborn is in the bed with us, because I'm feeding him or he's gassy and fussy. So I'm trying to get him ready for bed and keep him calm, and when I'm doing that our toddler refuses to stay in his bed. I have to flat out ignore our new baby to get our toddler to stay in the bed, even then he gives us a hard time lying down and going to sleep. Most nights it's midnight until he's finally out, then he sleeps late and won't nap in the afternoon, then he'll crash at like 5pm and end up staying up late again. It's a horrible cycle. I feel like the only way to solve the problem is to put him in his own room, where he can't see us. My husband thinks this will make him feel more isolated than if he is in the room with us, on his bed, while the three of us are on our bed, and that it's too soon to switch it up on him because it will make things worse. I could really use some opinions on this, and please, no rude or nasty comments about the co sleeping, it's the choice we made, and I don't want to hear about how "wrong" it is. Help!
Oh and for the record, I say our new baby is in our bed, but that is only until he falls asleep, then he goes in his bassinet, we'd never actually sleep in the bed with a new baby that small.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by dentalgirl on -
Hello dear. If I was you I would check out Supper Nanny's methods for bedtime drama. 2 is not too young to do CIO method. Be firm, and don't repeat the cycle with your new little one. Good luck and big ((HUGS))!!!
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Permalink Reply by Janet on -
When I was a single mother my eldest slept with me but then met my boyfriend(husband) and had to make the transition. She was the same age and everything. I talked with my daughter about being a "big" girl and having her own room. I even let her keep both doors open at night for a while I mean a while, but it finally worked after 3 months she got used to it. My husband or I would read her a book then trade of tucking her in then that way she knew it was bed time. We now have our second child and we let my daughter whose 5 now that her sister can't take care of herself so she sleeps with us. My oldest tucks her sister (4months) in and reads her a story. Its cute and my oldest feels like she is a big help. Then we tuck her in and everyone is happy.
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Permalink Reply by Lisa Bohanon on
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loved reading your story....I;m a single mom and my little one is 2...and is in my bed with me. He started in a crib but after he started climbing out I converted it to a toddler bed. I have tried to make the transition to toddler bed, but not too successful. Since I am working full time I give in and let him sleep with me....I need to be firm but the face is so cute when he wakes me up I just want to snuggle....
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Permalink Reply by gera on
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had the same problems. put your toddler in his bed in your room for awhile till he gets accustom to sleeping by himself before moving him to his room. if he refuses to stay on his bed, just put him outside the room for a few minutes, he is going to cry but its ok because he would rather on the bed in the same room with you than be outside. just make sure everyone is in the room at that time and he is alone out there. it takes patience and you have to keep on doing this for a week or more but he will definitely stay on his bed, then you can think about moving him out of your room.
goodluck and be patient because it takes a while to get accustomed to changes.
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Permalink Reply by Christie Chavez on -
Just had our daughter July 21st and our 2 year old has been sleeping in our room. We recently introduced her favorite character toddler bed with the bed set. I also make her take a nap in her toddler bed during the day. She will fall asleep in the living room and id carry her to her own bed that way she can get used to where she is supposed to wake up at and it's not scary for her any more. I also do put one of her favorite long movies on at night before bed that helps her to fall asleep in her toddler bed. Hope some of my tips help you and gl :)
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Permalink Reply by Christie Chavez on
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Oh btw she is still in our room but in her own sleeping bed. Baby steps but it'll get there eventually.
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Permalink Reply by purplebutterflies on -
He might have to be woken up earlier in the day to prevent him from staying up late at night. You may have to do it by "force" so to speak.
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Permalink Reply by Erika, Star Mom on -
Thanks for the advice everyone! The last two nights my husband sat in his room with him until he fell asleep, and he will tonight too, but tomorrow he'll be on the road so I'm going to try just leaving him in there by himself and see how he does. I'll go from there.
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Permalink Reply by Jen, Mom365 Host on -
We co-sleep, too. My son was in our bed until after his 2nd birthday, and my daughter is 20 months and still in bed with us. No judgment, here!
I would transition him out of your room as quickly as possible. Maybe have your husband sit on the edge of your son's bed in his new room until your son is asleep. That way he doesn't feel abandoned, but he won't be woken up if the baby wakes up. Then as your son gets accustomed to that, you can have your husband sit on the floor at the foot of the bed, then by the door, then on the other side of the door, until your son can go to sleep on his own. That's what we did with our son and it worked great.
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Permalink Reply by Shannon, Star Mom on
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Gosh I know exactly where you are coming from, but I never co-slept from the beginning. What happened is when my boys were born I felt so guilty for my 5 year old daughter b/c it was all of us in my room (the boys were in bassinets), but I felt like I was leaving my daughter out, so I began letting her sleep with me. Now she just sleeps all over the place- on the couch, my room... and occasionally in her bed. I am not really worried about it right now b/c how much can it REALLY harm her right now? We have tried getting back on schedule w/ her sleeping in her own room, but she slowly creeps into my room or the couch...
I think the hardest part would be the guilt you will feel, so you have to do 'the switch' whenever you are 100% ready to stick to your guns. I would say the best way to do this is make being in his own room and his own bed an exciting BIG BOY thing! Some ideas that I've gotten from others... make their bed fun- maybe think about getting a car bed, or one of those beds w/ a slide, or their favorite bed spread- doesn't have to be brand new... we one day found a car bed on the side of the road left for trash for my friends toddler (you can stick your own mattress into the car bed), or try Craigslist! You can also get neat lighting things, like those lamps that shine characters on the ceiling, glow in the dark stars for the ceiling, or I even use to put xmas lights (they had covers on each light though) around my daughters bookcase in her room. Some parents won't agree w/ this, but we put a TV in my daughters room when she was younger too that just played VCR tapes... we put it on for her and it made her like being in her room at night on her own (she felt less lonely), and she fell asleep in about 10 minutes. Also, see if you can schedule the time you put your 2 year old to bed when your newborn is sleeping, so that way both you and your husband can go in read a few books and give him your undivided attention before bed, he may enjoy this routine. Good luck, I completely understand where you are coming from :)
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Permalink Reply by Erika, Star Mom on
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Well I decided to make my son sleep in his room, and he's been doing it for almost a week now. After two nights with Daddy sitting with him until he fell asleep, and three nights alone in there, and crying as he fell asleep, he's went to bed last night no crying :) He's doing so well already!
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