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Becoming a surrogate...

Okay so a friend of mines who happens to be my daughters pre-k teacher has 2 boys she wants another but can't have anymore her and her husband to do IVF with their boys. When she got pregnant with her second son she was supposed to have twins but one didn't make it and was told she wouldn't be able to have anymore kids. Her mom died almost a year ago and on her death bed she told her mom to tell God to send her a little girl. She is a wonderful person. She asked me if I'd be willing to carry a baby for her, I told her that I have thought about being a surrogate before. She said to think about it and let her know. I am thinking of telling her that I would do it. She isn't talking in next month more like in a year, since I just had a baby 4 months ago. Has anyone here ever been a surrogate mom or know of anyone who has been one? How does it work?

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Permalink Reply by Katie, Mom365 Host on October 7, 2012 at 5:11pm

That's so nice of you to consider being a surrogate for your friend. My cousin was unable to have more children after an emergency D&C and they asked a friend to be a surrogate. The friend already had three children of her own and didn't want any more herself, which I feel like must be an important consideration when becoming a surrogate; I personally think it would be hard to carry another woman's child if you are hoping to be pregnant again in your life, but maybe that's just me. I don't know exactly how it works; that would be a consideration too. Do you have to take hormones before they place the embryo? I think you might want to speak with a counselor specializing in surrogacy, just to see how you should prepare yourself and what to expect emotionally, before telling your friend that you are considering it. Let us know how things turn out!

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Permalink Reply by Bethany Ann, Star Mom on October 8, 2012 at 12:46pm

The only person I would surrogate for would be my sister. She hasn't tried for children yet, so I'm assuming she is able to have her own, but if for some reason she can't and wanted me to, I would in a heartbeat. I think the process is probably a mix between IVF (Of course) an adoption, and a mutual agreement between you and your family, and your friend and her family. There will be some legal things to work through since it is not your child but you are carrying it, such as signing papers acknowledging you relinquish all rights to the child after birth. Probably signing papers stating what you are willing to do and not do (Like if the friend wants you to have a c-section, but you don't want to...or something like that). There will have to be a lot of trust and communication between all of you during the entire thing and after.

It's so great of you to be considering this for your friend, and that she trusts you enough to ask you to carry her child. Good luck with everything!

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Permalink Reply by Mom of 3 great kids on October 8, 2012 at 4:30pm

@ bethany Ann. I don't have any sisters. But just close friends. It's definatly something I have to think about.

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Permalink Reply by Bethany Ann, Star Mom on October 8, 2012 at 5:49pm

Well, the reason I say it would be only my sister that I would do it for...is because she is the closest female to me. One that I would trust whole heartedly with my children (She is in my husband and I's will as their guardian should anything happen to us). I have no doubt she will be an amazing mother, and there would be little that we didn't agree on if we were to go through the process of surrogacy. So if I had someone other than my sister whom I felt like that with, then I absolutely would :-)