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am i ready to have another baby?
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Permalink Reply by Shannon, Star Mom on
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I think that is a decision you have to make on your own... after having my first at 20 years old in 2005 (unplanned), I knew I was not ready to have another baby for at least 7-10 years later. I wanted to go to college, get a great job to provide enough financial security for my family, I wanted to be married and in a nice home. These things were important to me, but they may not be as important to someone else. I did end up getting pregnant 5 years later and had twins in 2010 (all unplanned). I had met a few of my goals at that time, we will be married in October, and by next year I plan on working more on my career. Make a list of things you want to accomplish in life to determine if having more than one child will interfere with your goals, and decide if you think you are providing the right home/environment you want for a family of more than 3 (will you need more income, will you have enough room in the home, etc.). Also, you are talking about 'health', not sure if you had a scare or bad experience w/ your last pregnancy, but yes you should definitely factor this into your decision as well.
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Permalink Reply by EastTexasMommy on -
Congrats on getting married! I hope it's a very special ceremony. Glad to hear someone is going to get to go back and finish school. Make sure it is accredited. The are lots of online classes and bookooos of scholarships out there. I recommend you fill out everyone of them, even if you know you don't qualify. It doesn't take much longer. The catch is, when no one fills out for the scholarship... They have to give it to someone. Why not you? Usually scholarship offices won't have any applicants so they have their friends apply or they apply themselves and get them out of default. Good Luck.
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Thanks :) Yes, finally getting married after 8 years, and yes it will be very special (everything I ever dreamed of!).
Actually, I finished my Bachelor's around Christmas 2010. I was scared if I didn't continue my courses throughout my pregnancy I would put it off, so I continued on the entire pregnancy and finished my very last classes the first 2 months of my boys' life. It was the most challenging thing I've ever done (b/c I had to work full time during the pregnancy too), but definitely the hugest weight off my shoulders when I finally graduated.
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Permalink Reply by EastTexasMommy on
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WOW THAT IS A BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT. If nobody has patted your back, do so for me. My last 2 semesters were about as hard as a 2 week old baby. I had to be there longer than a full time job and had not much time for fiance(now hubby) or his daughter. I did get enough grants and scholarships I didn't need to work but with the school load you really couldn't.
Make the wedding special for you. Your opinions and wants matter most. My hubby built me a 20x20 octogon, two story gazebo with a winding stair case, just because I had a dream of it and thought it was beautiful and said it would be nice to find one to get married there. I have never found on like it. I made all my flower arrangements, custom drew my cake and had it made, and had a margarita/daquri machine for hubby and guest. (4gal/side) (Fruit punch kool-aide, sugar, little water, bottle of rum... Had to refill before our reception started) It was a hit. I say you only get married once, but now days, you only get one amazing wedding and you're the one it makes the difference to. Congrats! 8 years is worth the wait. I waited alittle over 1/2 that and hated the wait at times. But, good things come to those who wait.
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Thanks so much!!
Omgoodness, I am so excited about the wedding, and since you brought it up I will have to ramble about it now lol... well, we will be getting married right on the steps of a gazebo and our backdrop is Lake Anna (in Fredericksburg, Va). My soon to be MIL is handling the entire setup (they have a huge house right on Lake Anna, so the ceremony will be right in their backyard), and she has ordered all the custom made flower arrangments (I've been sending pics of what I like), and the cake (I told her to surprise us!). I know she will have a few huge tents, a dance floor, and several round tables w/ seating setup, and the tents will have those little round paper lanterns hanging all around it (the ceremony starts at 4pm, followed by the reception right there... so it will get dark). I don't know what I'd do w/ out her! My mom was a bridal gown designer for about 15 years, she had her own business back then (now she works for the gov't)... so she custom made my dress (she has been dreaming of this since the day I was born!). She also made my daughters dress (she will be our flower girl), but the lace and material was all taken from the wedding dress my grandma was in the day she married my grandpa (he has passed). So, there are so many things added to this ceremony that will make it extra special.
That is sooo funny you said margarita machine, b/c I was thinking of getting one too!! But we decided on just beer and wine, and the catering will be a upscale bbq type buffet.
Well, I'm rambling like I said I would lol... thanks for your input/advice, I appreciate it. Sounds like your day was extra special too :)
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Permalink Reply by EastTexasMommy on
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Congrats, it does sound amazing. I made my brides maides dresses. They wouldn't/couldnt get together and one was prego. By the time they wanted to help it was 2 late. I enjoyed planning everything but man it was a headache. (not near as bad as my 1st baby shower, host flaked out lol) We were married in August. It was killer hot. I rented a port a cool but it didn't help. This souther nheat/humidity is a killer. It was 102 in the shade today. I love the idea of weddings overlooking water. Our gazebo sets on the edge of our lake 110acres spring fed, crystal blue. Great photos. We also had a bubble blower on the top floor that dropped bubbles down during the reception. Everyone laughed and said it was silly before but at wedding it was amazing. We also had wine but only I drank it. What tpe of flowers are you using? We did calla lilies. Our colors were back and white. Hubby had white tux with white/grey tie. I wore white, brides maides had black dress with white wraps. I love the idea of your dress. Be sure to get a good photographer and videographer. I'm excited for you!
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I love black/white weddings... I almost wanted to do something like that, and I was even going to add black in my wedding dress (like a black sash), but w/ it being an October wedding I decided on fall-like colors. So I don't really know what kinda flowers they were, but I found a picture of what I wanted the bridesmaids to have and they appear to be fully bloomed roses maybe, in like a burnt orangy red, light orange, and light yellow. My bouquet will be orange (several dif. shades) med. bloomed roses. I also found this white pumpkin w/ several dif. kinda flowers in it on pinterest that I LOVED, so she is having that made as the centerpiece for the bridal table as well... pinterest has been my best friend for ideas. Since we have twins, one will be holding the ring/pillow, and one will be holding a wooden sign around his neck that says 'here comes my mommy' (we had it made at a craft show)... that was another idea from pinterest! The groomesmen will have a newsboy/late 1800's look w/ collared shirts (rolled sleeves), suspenders, pants, black/white chckered bow tie, and a plaid newsboy cap, and the modern twist to it will be black/white converse chucks. My little boys will be wearing plaid knickers sets w/ the bow tie, suspenders, newboys cap too. The bridesmaids are wearing sleeveless calf length dresses in guava, and my dress will be antique white... it will resemble princess Kate's dress at the top, but mine will be completely fitted all the way down and then flare out at the bottom and a long train, and my soon-to-be-husband will be wearing a charcoal gray suit. I friend requested you so we could talk more if you wanted!
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Permalink Reply by EastTexasMommy on
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Your hormones are still out of wack and your body is most likely not ready to be tramatised this soon. It take 2 years or more for your body to go back to normal (prebaby). I have always recommended people wait till after they are 21. It's hard to get a sitter for 2+kids. It's hard to get 1 for 1 baby.
The economy is going down hill. If things stay the way they are we are expected to hit a recession by Jan 2013. Things will get really hard and having little ones will make it even harder. If you and your boyfriend are jointly ready to take on another baby. Go ahead. Kids are wonderful. You can never love or appreciate something more.
Like Shannon said consider, education, living arrangements, money, and I would say age. You have plenty of time to add an age gap between the two.
I wanted to graduate college, buy a house and get married before having kids. I wanted to know that I could fully support them on my own. I did all of that. I have a 16yr old stepdaughter that I didn't expect but I love all my kids. It's really a personal decision with you and him. Keep in mind it's at least twice the work, twice the money, and twice the space. And it take two to make the decision. You don't want to pull the goalie without his approval.
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Permalink Reply by Jen, Mom365 Host on -
Honestly, with something as important as having a baby, if you have to ask if you're ready, you're not. I think your boyfriend is on the right track.
I know how strong "baby fever" can be. I deal with it daily, and have been dealing with it since my daughter was 2 months old. I made the tough decision and agreed that my husband should have a vasectomy. Not because I don't want more babies, but because I know we don't have the time, space, and money for another child.
You're really young. I'm almost 20 years older than you, and I have 2 small children. Your fertility isn't going anywhere. Before you have another baby, continue your education, start a career, buy a house, get married - do something to create and maintain a stable, loving, and secure household for the baby you already have, and the babies you want to have in the future.
That's my advice, but it's your life, so... :)
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Permalink Reply by M&M 's mommy on -
I understand how you feel. I was still in the hospital after having my 1st child and started saying "when we have the 2nd". My husband didn't like that statement. Lol. I didn't want to do it right then, but I did want my children to be close in age. When my son was 11 months, we got pregnant with our little girl. My son just turned 2 and my daughter is 3 months. The pregnancy wasn't any harder on my body than the first one. I wouldn't recommend having them any closer together than I did, b/c you want to be able to enjoy your child's first year and treasure every minute. Not spend the whole time tired and dealing with morning sickness. Another factor is money. Can you give your children everything they need when you double the expenses
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Permalink Reply by DaltonGang on -
I had. Y first son 3 mo the before y 21st birthday! My husband and I had decided it was best to wait a yer or 2 bewforehavi g another one. I've got major medics problems that could get worse with age. So my doctor told us straight out that we should have as many Holden as. Want I. The next 5-10 years! Well 3 days before my sons 1st birthday we found it that wew are expecting again! It definitely wasn't planned just like our older son. I was even on birth control, of. Ourse it was the mini pill since I was still breast feeding. But if it's meant to happen it'll happen. For me life is always going to be unexpected so I go with the flow! But you should always talk with your significant other when wanting to have another one. That way you are both in the same page. Y husband and I were eboth surprised and unsure with bith our kids once. For d out we were pregnant, but that doesn't mean they we unwanted!
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Permalink Reply by M&M 's mommy on
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That was my situation as well. They told me I wouldn't be able to have children, so when I had my first child, it was great. After I had him, the doctor told us if we wanted any more children we had to do it then or wouldn't be able to. I found out I was having baby #2 a week after my son's 1st birthday. I wouldn't change any of it (except maybe all the diapers Lol)
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